Anxiety

Anxiety is the feeling that something is wrong - or about to go wrong - even when you can’t point to what.

It’s different from fear. Fear has an object: you’re afraid of the dog, the exam, the confrontation. Anxiety is more diffuse. It’s a sense of dread without a clear target.

If you’ve felt this, you’re not alone. Anxiety is epidemic. And understanding it is the first step to working with it.

What anxiety actually is

Anxiety is your threat-detection system firing when there’s no clear threat.

Your body evolved to protect you from danger. When it detects a threat, it activates: heart rate increases, muscles tense, breathing quickens, mind becomes hyperalert. This is useful when a tiger is chasing you.

The problem is that your threat-detection system doesn’t distinguish well between physical danger and psychological discomfort. A difficult conversation triggers the same response as a predator. A work email activates the same system.

Anxiety is your survival system misfiring in a world where most threats aren’t physical.

The anxiety loop

Anxiety tends to self-reinforce:

You feel anxious
The feeling is unpleasant, so you try to avoid it
Avoidance provides temporary relief
Your brain learns: that thing causes anxiety, avoidance helps
The avoided situation becomes more anxiety-provoking
You avoid more things
Your world shrinks

This loop can turn specific anxiety into generalized anxiety. One feared situation becomes many. Avoidance becomes a lifestyle.

Common anxiety triggers

While anxiety can attach to anything, some common themes:

Future uncertainty: Not knowing what will happen. Career, relationships, health, finances. The “what if” spiral.

Social evaluation: Being judged by others. Will they think I’m stupid? Incompetent? Unlikeable? Do I belong?

Performance: Having to do something where failure is possible. Tests, presentations, difficult conversations.

Loss: Losing what you have. Relationships, status, security, health.

Inadequacy: The sense that you’re not enough. Not smart enough, capable enough, good enough.

Notice: these are all psychological. Your life isn’t in danger. But your brain processes them as if it were.

What doesn’t work

Trying to think your way out. Anxiety isn’t rational, so rational arguments don’t defeat it. “I know I shouldn’t feel anxious” doesn’t make the anxiety stop.

Avoidance. Temporarily relieves anxiety but increases it long-term. The avoided thing grows in power.

Seeking constant reassurance. Temporarily helps, then you need more. Creates dependency.

Fighting the feeling. Resisting anxiety creates tension, which increases anxiety.

Substance use. Alcohol, drugs, or other numbing agents work short-term. Create bigger problems long-term.

What helps

1. Accept the feeling

Counterintuitively, accepting anxiety reduces it. Resistance adds suffering to pain.

“I’m feeling anxious right now. That’s okay. It’s just a feeling. It won’t hurt me.”

This isn’t resignation. It’s acknowledgment. You’re not trying to make the anxiety stay - you’re just not fighting it.

2. Ground in the present

Anxiety lives in the future - in “what if” and “what might happen.” The present is usually fine.

Grounding techniques:

5-4-3-2-1: Name 5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you feel, 2 you smell, 1 you taste
Focus on your breathing
Feel your feet on the floor
Hold something cold

These aren’t cures. They’re interrupts. They pull you out of the anxiety spiral.

3. Move your body

Anxiety is physical - it’s your body preparing for action. So take action.

Exercise burns off stress hormones. Walking, running, any movement helps. Your body gets the signal that the “threat” was handled.

4. Distinguish thoughts from reality

Anxious thoughts feel true. They’re not necessarily true.

“I might get fired” is a thought, not a fact. “They probably hate me” is an interpretation, not evidence.

You can acknowledge the thought without believing it: “I’m having the thought that I might fail” is different from “I will fail.”

5. Do the thing anyway

The most effective treatment for anxiety is exposure - doing the anxiety-provoking thing anyway.

Not all at once. Gradually. Start small. But face the fear.

Each time you face anxiety and survive, you weaken its power. Your brain learns: this isn’t actually dangerous.

6. Get professional help

If anxiety significantly impacts your life, professional treatment works.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is highly effective. Sometimes medication helps. There’s no shame in getting help for something this common.

Living with anxiety

Some anxiety is permanent. It’s part of being human, especially for some brains.

Living with it means:

Not expecting it to fully disappear
Building a life that works despite it
Having strategies for when it spikes
Accepting bad days while working toward more good ones

Anxiety isn’t a character flaw. It’s a feature of a sensitive nervous system. Some of the most thoughtful, creative, caring people are also the most anxious.

The goal isn’t to become someone who never feels anxiety. It’s to not let anxiety run your life.

Related: Uncertainty (the cognitive side), Health (physical factors), Decisions (anxiety and paralysis)